Let’s talk: Depression

Prior to now, I never really saw myself being a designer/stylist/fashion entrepreneur but look how things turned out… and that leads me to my story of how I overcame depression.

After announcing my intentions of becoming a fashion entrepreneur (June 2016), the path I was about to walk were dark and somewhat filled with depression. I was sad, lonely, worried, rebellious (all because I was harboring negative thoughts and overthinking tomorrow). Now I’m in a much better and happier place, only because of these things that I am about to share with you.

Depression is the outcome of exaggerated worrying, so in this post I would be making reference to ‘worry’ a lot of times. Worrying is a really terrible thing and it has so many negative effects, according to Dr. Alexis Carrel “People who do not know how to fight worry die young”. Worry has been proven to cause Stomach Ulcers (when you worry your stomach nerves are affected and the gastric juice in your stomach becomes abnormal and this often leads to Ulcers) and many other ills.

If you are worried about something, ask yourself: ‘whatever I am worried about, is it worth my health?’

Dress is from @shopsolafagbemi (on IG)

I hope you do take out your time to not just read but apply this steps to your life. Enjoy!

1. Take One step at a time:
“The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way to prepare for the future”. You can’t contribute to your tomorrow by worrying. At the beginning of my business I began to ask “what if this or that”, I was harbouring negative thoughts… it was slowly killing my morale which stopped me from taking bold steps with regards my business. This negative thoughts came to an end when I started taking one step at a time. I started putting all my energy in the ‘now’. For instance, If you’re in school and the thought of exams are killing your morale, why don’t you just focus on your current tasks like assignments, tests and just give careful not fearful thought about your exams to come. According to research, at one time half the beds in a hospital was taken by patients who had collapsed under the crushing burden of accumulated yesterdays and fearful tomorrows, don’t let that be you.

2.Analyse and Solve your Worries:
Just know that all the worry in the world can’t give you a dime or lead to a positive difference, instead it takes from you and affects your ability to think properly. So I would suggest 3 steps to help stop the worrying. (Ever since I found out about this 3 steps, it has saved me a lot of stressing out)
-Know the facts: What is causing my worry? You could even go a step ahead to write it down. Dean E Hawkes said, “confusion is the chief cause of worry”. Have you ever gotten to the point where you are even confused about what is stressing you out? lol it happens to me too. you need to get a step ahead to solving these issues by answering “what am I worrying about?”
-Analyse the facts: What can I do about it ? Whenever I find myself in a tough situation, after following step 1, I ask myself “what can be done about this”.You could also write down the possible solutions and before picking the best solution, its important to gather all the sufficient knowledge you can about the issue to help you with step 3.
-Take action: I go ahead to pick the best option and if I find out that nothing can be done about the situation. I take a deep breathe and with all that is within me I accept it. Remember the earnest prayer, ‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference”. Once you come to a conclusion, dismiss all worries.

 

3.Keep Yourself constructively busy

If you keep yourself productively/constructively busy you wouldn’t have time to worry. Winston Churchill worked 18 hours a day at the height of the wars and when asked if he worried about his great responsibilities he said, “I am too busy, I have no time to worry”. If you’ve tried all that you can and the worries seem to still be there, get yourself to that Winston Churchill stage, where you are ‘too busy to worry’ but make sure it is with productive work. Have you ever wondered why there is a certain peace that comes from being in laboratories and libraries? Pasteur says it is so because men are usually too absorbed in tasks to worry about themselves. There’s is a law that explains why this is so, it states that it is utterly impossible for any human mind no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at a given time. you could give it a try right now: lean back, close your eyes, think about the statue of liberty and what you would like to do tomorrow morning. If you have no idea what to do, get busy serving others and doing good deeds.

4. Have a Religion

“Religion gives one a new zest for life… more life, a larger, richer, satisfying life’

The sovereign cure for worry is Religious faith (psychiatrists teach this too). Prayer and faith will banish the worries, anxieties, strains and fears that cause most of our health issues. You will agree with me that there’s a certain peace that comes when we have faith. You need to stop focusing on the politics of your religion and start to get interesed in what religion does for you. Mahatma Gandhi was inspired by prayer and according to him, “Without prayer, I would have been a lunatic long ago”. Prayer is very good for us as individuals, it’s a form of meditation and it can help us know the things troubling us, it gives us a feeling of sharing our burdens and having someone to cast our cares upon. You would all agree with me there’s a JOY and PEACE that comes with being in church. Sometimes I love to go to church because there is always a renewal of mind every time I attend church.  There’s a saying that goes “there are no atheists in fox holes” this means that in a state of extreme fear and in tragic situation (like wars) we are all forced to believe in a higher power. Why wait till you get to a place of extreme worry or fear before you BELIEVE? Cast all your cares on him and enjoy the peace that comes from Him.

There’s so much I know that I would love to share with you, and eventually I will but I hope that this was able to help you. I have noticed a trend of people being more open about their ordeals with depression and I’m glad that is now becoming a topic we can openly discuss. If you would love to share your story on going through depression or how you overcame it, feel free to do so in the comments section or if you would prefer to send me a message,  here is my email: info@solafagbemi.com, I would be sure to reply. Cheers

Read this quotes, they would also be helpful:

‘Life, we learn too late, is in the living, in the tissue of everyday and hour”.

“Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.”

“Let’s now allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget, Remember ‘Life is too short to be little’.

“Nothing life can bring you is beyond your strength to endure,We must accept and cooperate with the inevitable… A man who turned blind said: It is not miserable to be blind, it is only miserable not to be able to endure blindness”.



1 thought on “Let’s talk: Depression”

  • i have a burning passion for skateboarding and i want to push skateboarding in nigeria to new lengths. But i started overthinking things asking so many questions, imagining so many ways that it won’t work.
    that is when depression kick in. stated bailing on simple tricks and ended up braking my board. but your story helps me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *